*A Scottish Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied for*
*membership
at a local golf club.* *About a week later he received a letter that his
application has been* *rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why.*

* Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scottish Jew: Aye, but I’m as Scottish as you are, ma’am, my name is*

*MacTavishstien. Secretary: Do you know that on formal occasions we
wear a kilt? Scottish Jew: Aye, I do know, and I wear a kilt too.
Secretary: You are also aware, that we wear nothing under the kilt?
Scottish Jew: Aye, and neither do I. Secretary: Are you also aware,
that the members sit naked in the steam room? Scottish Jew: Aye, I also do
the same. Secretary: But you are a Jew? Scottish Jew: Aye, I be
that. Secretary: So, being Jewish, you are circumcised, is that
correct? Scottish Jew: Aye, I be that, too.*

* Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not
feel* *comfortable
sitting in the steam room with you, since your privates are*

*different from theirs. Scottish Jew: Ach, I know that you have to be a
Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a
Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus. But* *this is the first time I’ve
heard that you have to be a* *complete prick to join a golf club!*