A Department of Water Resources representative (Philemon) stops at a
Free State farm and talks with old farmer Koos. He tells Koos, “I need
to inspect your farm for the water allocation”. Koos says, “Okay, but
don’t go in that field over there”.

 Philemon says, “Meneer, I have the full authority of the ANC Government
with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I
WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I
made myself clear? Do you understand?” Koos nods politely and goes
about his chores. Shortly, thereafter Koos hears loud screams and spies
Philemon running for his life
followed close behind by the farmer’s bull, who’s gaining with every
step. Philemon is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the
old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top
of his lungs…..

 “Your card! Show him your card! “

3 rugby fans – a Springbok fan, a New Zealand fan and an Australian fan
were all walking home after watching a game at the pub. They come
across a dead, naked woman lying on the pavement, and decide to phone
the police.

 The Springbok fan could not bear to see the undignified woman lying on
the floor in such a manner, and took off his Springbok cap and placed it
over the woman’s left breast. Not to be outdone the New Zealand fan,
removed his cap and placed it over the woman’s right breast. Similarly,
the Australian fan felt he could be of assistance and removed his cap
and placed it over
her groin area.

 Now, when the police arrived, the 3 Rugby fans had to stick around for
questioning by the police. They watched the officer inspect the scene of
the crime. The officer picked up the cap from the left breast, had a
peek, put the cap down and then wrote down some notes. He then picked up
the cap from the right breast, had a peek, put the cap down and wrote
down some notes.

 Next, of course, was the cap over the groin area. The officer picked up
the cap, put it down and then wrote some notes. He picked up the cap
again, put it down and wrote some further notes. For the third time, the
officer did the same thing which infuriated the hell out of the
Australian fan to the point where he went up to the officer. “What are
you? Some kind of pervert?
Why do you keep looking there?”asked the obviously annoyed Aussie fan.
The officer replied “It’s just weird – normally, you’d expect to see a
prick under an Australian cap”