As good as this bar is,

As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs
back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The
landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks,
he’ll buy the fifth drink.”
“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my local in London, the Red
Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first
“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in my favourite
pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then
another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough
drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman
swore every word was true. “Did this actually happen to you?”
“Not meself, personally, no,” admitted the Irishman, “but it did happen
to me sister quite a few times.”

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