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  • Walking Eagle

     
    On a recent trip to the United States, President Jacob Zuma addressed a 
    major gathering of Red Indians. 
     
    He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for improving South Africa's present standard of living. 
     
    At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his 
    new Indian name – Walking Eagle. 
     
    The proud Zuma then sang them his signature tune and departed in his motorcade, waving to the 
    crowds. 
     
    A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name 
    given to Zuma. 
     
    They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can no longer fly.

  • New supermarket

    A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

    Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

    When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.

    When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

    The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

     I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.

  • The ultimate rejection

                         
                   
               
      
        
           
        
                      

  • Kalahari Digkuns (Afrikaans op sy mooiste)

    Dit is ‘n diep stil donker nag.
    Vêr poep ‘n boesman sag.
    Met ‘n dowwe geplof,
    Val ‘n drol in die stof.
    Geduldig en gedwee,
    Hoor ek ‘n geskree,
    ‘n Boesman het sy hol
    Met ‘n kaktus afgevee!