For anyone who has gone through the process of resetting your
password, this is for you………….****

****

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*Resetting The Password*****

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*”Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired.You** **must
register a new one.”*****

*roses*****

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*”Sorry, too few characters.”*****

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*pretty roses*****

****

*”Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character.”*****

****

*1 pretty rose*****

****

*”Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.”*****

****

*1prettyrose*****

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*”Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters.”*****

****

*1fuckingprettyrose*****

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*”Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character.”*****

****

*1FUCKINGprettyrose*****

****

*”Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.”**
***

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*1FuckingPrettyRose*****

****

*”Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters.”*****

****

*1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow*****

****

*”Sorry, that password is already in use.”*

** **

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[image: Description: cid:1.193962910@web172003.mail.ir2.yahoo.com]****

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** **
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A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to
her to see what had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking
at two spiders mating.

‘Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?’ she asked.

‘They’re mating,’ her father replied.

‘What do you call the spider on top?’ she asked.

‘That’s a Daddy Longlegs,’ her father answered.

‘So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?’ the little girl asked.

‘No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.’

‘The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then
lifted her foot and stomped them flat…

‘Well, we’re not having any of that moffie kak in our garden’ she says

**

** **

Lydia Lindeque, the pioneering South African actress and wife of Uys Krige
swore to her dying day that this story was true:****

Around the late 1940’s in a small rural Karoo town, in a town-hall made of
wood and iron, a travelling theatre company performed a play in Afrikaans. *
***

The whole (white) town turned out. The mayor and the dominee, deacons and
dignitaries lined the front rows. The rest of the audience were all
coloured, restless and loud behind the pound seats; obviously new to the drama
on the stage. The melodrama proceeded…..A shot is fired. An actress
pitches over sideways into the hero’s arms.****

He turns, quivering, to the audience and implores, “En wat moet ek nou maak?”
Someone right at the back calls out, “Naai haar voor sy koud word!”****

The act is halted. The mayor confers with the dominee, addresses the
audience and unforthcoming culprit; behave, or no more play. The coloured
konstabel is sent to stroll up and down the central aisle, brandishing his
truncheon menacingly.****

The actors crank it up again. On stage a cup of tea is sipped. With pinkie
cocked, the hero muses, “Wat is darem lekkerder as ‘n koppie tee?” ****

The konstabel turns to the crowd, his truncheon prominent in his hand, “As
iemand *”poes”* sê, slat ek hom stukkend!”****

**

[image:
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****

**

*Burglary in Florida (You can’t make this stuff up!)
*
When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich’s house was burglarized
recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left
his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a white box filled with
a grayish-white powder. (That’s the way the police report described it.)

A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked similar to
high grade cocaine and they’d probably thought they’d hit the big time.

Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the
burglars: ‘Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She
died three years ago.’

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as
Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan’s doorstep. The white box was there too;
about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained.

Scotch taped to the box was this note which said: “Hoochie sold us the
bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard
feelings. Have a nice day.”

No matter how hard you try, absolutely NO ONE can top this….