Kaalkop

The ramblings of a serial head-shaver

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  • Burger meat scandal gets worse

    [image: Description: cid:image001.jpg@01CE0849.8819A560]

  • Missing?

    A woman phones the Sandton Central police station and says, “My husband
    went to buy potatoes two days ago and has not yet come back.”****

    There is a long pause before the cop says, “Eish Madam! Can’t you cook
    something else?”****

  • Layoff letter

    THE BEST EVER LAYOFF LETTER. No wonder this guy is the boss,
    he is sharp! You can ‘t be any fairer than this guy…

    Dear Employees:

    As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that
    Jacob Zuma is our President and that our taxes and government fees will
    increase in a BIG way.

    To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by
    about 10%.

    But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state
    of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

    This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I
    didn ‘t know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did.

    I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘ANC ‘ bumper stickers on
    our employees ‘ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let
    go.

    I can ‘t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for
    change… I gave it to them.

    I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

  • Fwd: FW: Ha ha

  • How to stand in a queue in future

  • Kolskoot

    ‘n Jagter se haelgeweer word deur ‘n sterk wind omgewaai.

    Dit gaan af en skiet hom in sy geboortemasjien se area.
    Die dokter sê, “Ek het goeie en slegte nuus. Goeie nuus: Min skade aan jou knaters, het al die haelkorrels verwyder.”
    Jagter: “Wat kan die slegte nuus dan wees?”
    Dokter: “Daar is egter skade aan jou meneertjie, hy het ‘n paar gate in. Ek sal jou na my suster verwys.”
    Jagter: “Dit klink nie te erg nie, is jou suster n plastiese chirurg?”
    Dokter: “Nee – sy speel fluit in die Johannesburgse simfonieorkes en sy gaan jou leer waar om jou vingers te plaas sodat jy nie in jou oog pis nie…”

  • Project Manager

     

    Image001

  • Attention thieves

  • Spoofing the Cam – Kloof Nek

  • Shame George…

     
    On January 9 a group of Boca, FL. bikers were riding South on I-95 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped.


    Att1

    The leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

    "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked … "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that … and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

    After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then he says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl"
     
    The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!