The ramblings of a serial head-shaver

  • Tenders put in the right context

    Tender process definitions

    TENDER SUBMISSION
    : A poker game in which the losing hand wins.


    TENDER SUM
    : A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.


    SUCCESSFUL TENDERER
    : A contractor who is wondering what he left out.


    ARCHITECT
    : A man who knows very little about a great deal, and keeps
    knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically
    nothing about everything.


    CONSULTING ENGINEER
    : A man who knows a great deal about very little, and
    goes on knowing more and more about less and less until he knows
    practically everything about nothing.


    QUANTITY SURVEYORS
    : People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the
    wounded.


    LAWYERS:
    People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the
    bodies.


    COST PLAN ESTIMATE
    : The cost of construction in heaven.


    MANAGEMENT CONTRACT
    : The technique for losing your shirt under perfect
    control.


    COMPLETION DATE
    : The point at which liquidated damages begin.


    LIQUIDATED DAMAGES
    : A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.


    SUB-CONTRACTOR
    : A gambler, who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.


    CONTRACTOR
    : A man who starts out knowing practically everything, but ends
    up knowing nothing due to his association with Architects and Consulting
    Engineers ETC.