Yesterday I was at my local 'Pets at Home' buying a large bag of Eukanuba
dog food for my daughter's Springer Spaniel and was in the checkout queue
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Eukanuba Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stone
before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's arse and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Pets at Home store.