The ramblings of a serial head-shaver
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You started it
An old one, but still makes me chuckle every time I hear it…
A guy walks into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He
marches straight up to the counter and says, “Hi. You know…. I just
HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.” The social worker behind the counter says, “Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to
drive around in his 2010 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of
your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided, and
you’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday
trips.” “This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have as part of your
job assignment satisfying her …’urges’ as the daughter is in her
mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.” The guy, just plain wide-eyed, stammers, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”. The social worker says, “Yeah, well … you started it.” -
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Water?
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?” The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to
find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old
Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties..
They are only £5.” The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need
water! I should kill you, but I must find water first! “OK,” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not
want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am
bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need.
Shalom.” Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said “Your
f****ing brother won’t let me in without a tie!” -
