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Crematorium – old, but still brilliant
Two Lenasian cousins, Ravi and Pravesh, are walking down the street one day.
They happen to come upon a crematorium.
Ravi promptly asks Pravesh, "Hey cousin, what’s this crematorium thing?"
Ravi: "Well run in there and check it out!"
Pravesh runs in, a couple minutes later he exits the crematorium severely beaten, covered in his own blood. Ravi (quite shocked, asks): "And now Pravesh, what happened to you man?"Pravesh: "No man, I go inside, right!"
Ravi: "Right?" Pravesh: "I see all these sad people standing around, right?" Ravi: "Right?" Pravesh: "So I ask them, ‘Hey what’s cooking?’
Sharp Indian Aunty
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A sophisticated looking Indian lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down. The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her. To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her silk sari and points to her right inner thigh – very high up. "Right here," she says, "I want you to tattoo a clay lamp and underneath it I want the word Diwali."Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and says, "On this side, I want you to tattoo an evergreen tree with lights and tinsel and an angel on top and underneath it I want the word Christmas." The owner looks at her. "Ooh, lady, it’s none of my business, but that is probably the most unusual request I’ve ever heard. Why in the world do you want to do that? "Well," the lady said, "I’m sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there’s never anything good to eat between Diwali and Christmas.
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Government Pipe Specifications
Please take note of the NEW "Government spesifications" for using/buying/suppling/selling pipes in Africa.
1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.
2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length – do not use holes of different length than the pipe.
3. The I.D. (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) – therwise the hole will be on the outside.
4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.
5. All pipe should be supplied without rust – this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B. Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe. If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site.
6. All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.
7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine hether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe.
8. All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.
9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.
10. When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.
11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.
12. All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads – otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.
