The ramblings of a serial head-shaver
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We need proof of ID
The President of ANCYL Julius Malema walks into an FNB bank and asks to cash a cheque for R2000..
Malema: “Well, I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need.
Teller: “No problem Sir. Could you please show me your ID.”?
After all, I am the President of the ANC Youth League” Teller: “Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations, I must insist on seeing ID.” Malema: “Just ask anyone here who I am and they will tell you. They all know who I am.” Teller: “I am sorry, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.” Malema: “Is there some other way around this?” Teller: “Look, here’s what we can do: a while ago now, Casta Semenia walked into the bank
without ID. To prove she was Casta she ran around the block in under 8 seconds Another time, Francois Pienaar came in without ID. He yanked out his rugby ball and
kicked it just under 300m right into Nedbank’s yard. After that spectacular
kick we cashed his cheque. So, what can you do to prove to me that you are really who you say you are?” Malema stands, deep in thought for what seems like minutes then finally says:
“My mind’s a complete blank. Honestly, I can’t think of a single thing” Teller: “Would fifties be OK, sir?” -
The Hunting Accident
A guy goes hunting. A gust of wind blows, the gun falls over and discharges, shooting him in the genitals.
What’s the bad news?” asked the hunter. “The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis, which left quite a few holes in it and I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.” “Well I guess that isn’t too bad,” the hunter replied. “Is your sister a plastic surgeon?”
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. “Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.”Not exactly,” answered the doctor. “She’s a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye.”
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Kaapse Humor
Gatiep sit in sy garage waar hy die laaste goed moet ontruim en bepeins sy lot.
Hy’t sy huis verloor, sy werk verloor en sy vrou het die kinders gevat en hom geskei.
Hy sien ‘n kas met wynbottels en loop soontoe.
Hy vat ‘n lee bottel, smyt dit teen die muur en skel: ‘Djy issie reason lat ekkie ‘n vrou hettie!’
Hy vat ‘n tweede bottel: ‘Djy issie reason lat ekkie kinners hettie!’
Derde bottel: ‘Djy issie reason lat ekkie ‘n job hettie!’
Vierde bottel: ‘Djy issie reason lat ekkie ‘n huis hettie!’
Hy vat die vyfde bottel en sien dis nog nie oopgemaak nie – vol wyn.
Hy sit die bottel saggies neer en sê: ‘Sta djy eers ienkant toe, my broe. Ek sien djy wassie involved nie!’
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The missing one rand
You saw a T-Shirt of R97, since you don’t have cash you borrow R50 from your dad and R50 from your mom. Now you have a R100. You purchase a T-Shirt for R97 and are left with R3 change. You return R1 to your dad and R1 to your mom and keep the R1 for yourself.
Now you owe your mom R49 and your dad R49.
Added together (R49 +R49 = R98) plus your R1 will = R99.
Where is the missing R1???
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Hello world!
Seeing that there were comments on this post before I even had chance to delete it, now I’ll just have to edit it.
As the tagline says, I’m a serial head shaver, meaning that I choose to not have hair. I’m also a cyclist, technologist and problem solver. I have a wide variety of interests, and will use this site mainly to link back to the interesting things I find out in the world. I may even review a few products if I receive them with no strings attached. It will be an honest review, so don’t send the product if you want a nice review and you’re not that confident of the product.
I’m based in South Africa, pretty close to the highest point in Joburg, which makes for awesome cycling.
