The ramblings of a serial head-shaver


  • Sigarette maak

    Jannie en Sannie klap 'n toon deur Pretoria Dieretuin toe, toe Sannie snaakse goed begin sien: "Jannie, hoekom sit daai een hasie bo-op die ander een?"

    Jannie stop vir so rukkie en sê: "Hulle is besig om sigarette te maak."

    Hulle loop verby nog so paar diere wat heeltyd "sigarette" maak en na so 'n rukkie vra Sannie:

    "Dit lyk my al die diere maak sigarette. Hoekom maak ek en jy nie ook sigarette nie?"

    Jannie nooi homself nie twee keer nie en hy en Sannie maak sigarette virre vale agter die beerhokke.

    Na hulle klaar is stap hulle so entjie verder, toe Sannie vra:
    "Jannie, nou watse soort sigarette het ek en jy gemaak?".

    Jannie stop en dink so 'n bietjie na: "Wel, as jy 'n hobbel op jou maag kry, het ons Camel gemaak en as daar nie een kom nie, was dit Lucky Strike."

  • If the pope’s your driver you must be…

    After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

    'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?' 
    'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.' 
    'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!  What if something should happen?'  protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
    'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile. 
    Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating to 205 kp/h.. (Remember, the Pope is German..) 
    'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 
    'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license — and my job!' moans the driver.
    The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.  
    'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. 
    The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo doing 205 kp/h. 
    'So bust him,' says the Chief. 
    'I don't think we want to do that. He's really important,' said the cop. 
    The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 
    'No, I mean REALLY important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence. 
    The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?' 

    Cop:  'No. Bigger.' 
    Chief: ' A senator?'
    Cop:  'Bigger.'  
    Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
    Cop:  'Way Bigger.' 
    'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is s it?' 
    Cop: 'I think it's God!'
    The Chief, even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?' 
    Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'